September 18, 2008

Remember the last time...

One of the reasons why I don't like attending class reunions with my primary school classmates is that I don't know what to say when they start the "Remember last time..." memory game. Fact is, I don't remember last time very well. Specifically and generally. So, I would always be the one who tries to laugh at a funny childhood joke told too often, which I do not remember anyway. I got tired of this long walk down memory lane (that's at least 16 years long walk) and decided to avoid class reunions altogether.

But I'm not not sentimental. I vaguely recall someone dropped a comment in this blog a few months ago, saying I was sentimental? No? See, case in point. I do remember things, albeit vaguely.

Just watched an episode of Grey's Anatomy. Meredith was kinda depressed because she couldn't remember the last time Derek and her kissed when they were still happy together (before the return of the capable but once-unfaithful wife). Because she could not remember, she felt she has no memory, no hope, no reason to carry on. At the end of the episode, Derek described (in amazing details) their last kiss. He remembered what she had forgotten. I thought they would, you know, kiss and hug and and do all those cliche things. But, she just smiled. He walked away and she turned to walk away too.

Hullo?!?!?!? Anti-climax lahhh...

But, how true.

Sometimes, so what if you remember? So what if you freaking remember every freaking 'last time'? Does that make you a better person (cos of better memory)? Does that change anything at all, reverse the wheels of time, fill up the void from that forgetting, sew up the wound of regret? Does that take the 'last' away from the 'last time'?

For better or for worse, I find that I don't remember things very well nowadays. I still manage my work and my responsibilities fine. It's the sentimental, emotional and (haha) romantic things that I don't remember.

I might have said something really sweet at a time when the stars are all in the romance zone and yet, 24 hours need barely pass before I won't remember what I said. Likewise when I hear something really sweet and romantic.

"Really? Did I say that?" has become one of the top 20 things I say weekly, outside what I say at work.

*I should make a list of the top 10 things I say at work. That will be interesting.*

So, ya! I can't remember the last time too. After awhile, it will not even matter that you don't remember. Cos the truth is, it doesn't matter. Besides, somethings in life are really worth forgetting.

Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 23:03